I’ll be frank – I am really not a festival person. Call me boring, call me uptight – I don’t mind. But the forced revelry of all our various religious and social festivals really sets my teeth on edge. As each major festival gets ticked off the annual calendar, I exhale slowly in relief and hope that pranayam will help me get through the gaiety and frolic knocking at the front door.
What really gets my goat is that while I am all for encouraging the family and neighbours to enjoy the rain-dance, there is no reciprocal encouragement towards me that allows a guilt-free day spent on the Lazyboy without having to set off a thousand anaars, Bollywood-style.
They pound my door with innovative carrots of festive joie de vivre.
“You have to join us downstairs for Holi-Milan. The dholak walas are going to do a great rendition of Rang Barse and we have organic abeer-bombs this year!”
“Its inauspicious to watch Nightmare on Elm Street on Diwali night. Come and eat some kaju-katli to change your mood.”
“So what if you don’t have a brother. You can tie rakhi’s to all the mooh-boley bhaiyas of the locality. After all it’s all about building goodwill.”
Aaaargh!! I send out a silent scream to the heavens while I try to reason.
“Look, I’m having a permanent bad-hair day, I don’t want to get the sexy, wet look and make it worse by pouring coloured water on it.
“Don’t you get it? Horror movies are better mood elevators than saas-bahu style communal diya-lighting. And I don’t like doing garba in a Madhuri-Dixit outfit either.”
“But I don’t want the protection of all these mooh-boley bhaiyas. And I don’t like to smile so much.”
Unfortunately, all of the above plaintive whinings have always fallen on deaf-deaf (to emphasis how irreversibly deaf) ears. So here I am two days after Holi, still trying to get the pink hue off my neck that makes it look like a baboon’s …
Happy Holi!
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hilarious!! also, this outpouring is infectious..!! maybe the organic anaar touts also actually feel the same way, but under pressure all the time to fit into, or at least explore the saas-bahu mould..
ReplyDeleteYou've written about your irritation in a most affectionate manner. Could you possibly secretly LIKE the festivals?
ReplyDeleteSigned, One Who Has Made It Very Clear That She Will NEVER Be Involved In Any Festival And Is Perfectly All Right With Being Called A Party-Pooper And A Bore. I.e., Kushal
Who are you Anon? Please leave a clue at least. Yes, completely agree. Bollywood has hijacked all forms of celebration and every Auntie and Uncle wants to dress up in Abu-Sandeep and do disco-bhangra.
ReplyDeleteOh No, One-Who. I truly do dislike all the festivity and gale-milna. No secret liking at all for all that. Leave me on my armchair when the world is celebrating, is my plea!
ReplyDeleteInteresting to see there are so many festival haters. For myself, the only fest I look forward to is one where I can lounge, read, watch TV...oh wait, that's a Sunday afternoon. T
ReplyDelete@T - Yup, my sentiments exactly. I don't mind festivals but is it compulsory to participate with so much joy as long as you don't poop others' parties? Thats my crib.
ReplyDeleteOnly like those festivals where can curl up with drink and watch spouse frolicking with kids and feign perpetual mommy tiredness. So sympathise with your holi hard work.
ReplyDeleteAR - Don't even want to watch, curled up or otherwise. And who says I worked hard this Holi? :-)
ReplyDeleteWritings are improving by each posting. Can be continued to become a great travel writer. B
ReplyDelete